Breaking News: Herpes-Having Heiress Headed for Lockdown
Paris Hilton in prison? For being a stupid tart? Or because her atomic farts kill puppies? Or for getting drunk and telling Susan Sarandon to fuck off? Or because she pooped in the hamper at David Geffen's Barack Obama fundraiser?
It might have something to do with her DUI parole violating ways, but we think they are probably just locking her up to see her get her weave pulled out by an angry mob of lady prisoners. FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!
