Thursday, March 27, 2008

Live Blogging from Colorado


We're in Colorado. Because we need some space. You would too if this were your fiance.


We feel really bad about ourselves for supporting the RIDICULARITY that is The Hills. Almost as bad as when we watch this show, but not quite. The latest and greatest episode to date brings Heidi to Crusted Butt, CO for some much needed SPACE. (I guess she's never heard of Space Camp, a summer program for the emotionally stunted.) Spencer even has a sister in this episode! With BRAIDS. Heidi and Spencer's relationship is starting to remind us of another L.A. couple...


Meanwhile in GAYE PAREE, Lauren is getting flirtatious (i.e. drunk and LOOSE) with some sketchy French hipsters.


This is France's answer to Justin Bobby, giving Lauren the EYE. (And by the "eye" we mean pink eye. Eventually. And syphillis.)


Lauren is really sad about Brody dating some chick back in L.A. (thanks for the bad news HO-drina!) and decides to grab life by the crepes and enjoy her new friends. She and Whitney (poor, poor Whitney!) meet les hipsters at a "fancy" club with a dress code that stipulates prom attire. Nothing happens, but for a second it looks like Lauren and le Rocker are going to be sexin' in the club like an R. Kelly video.

The problems of all these people on the Hills can be solved with just one thing: SOME SELF ESTEAM! If anything can stop Lauren from trying to derive her self worth from dating male whores and if anything can stop Heidi from recording "songs" and designing clothes, IT'S LOTION!

It is not just the girls Dove has singled out in its Real Beauty campaign who need help...


Heidi needs Dove too!!!! (Or at least some outreach and a social worker)


Then again, if people in L.A. had self esteem, there would be nothing good to watch on TV. CARRY ON HILLS!

But we still need some space.

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Sexxy (Muscular) Hospitals

Sometimes two articles appear in the NY Times on the same day that explain a lot about Robin Antin's disproportionate (and LOOSE) influence on our psyche.

Today we learned that sex infections are on the rise among teen girls and at the same time sexxy hospital wings are on the rise in Ohio. In a fitting tribute to the head trauma, car accident and gunshot victims of the Columbus area, ABERCROMBIE AND FITCH donated $10 million and some posters of male nipples to the Columbus Children's Hospital to name its trauma and emergency department after it.

We blame all this on the Robin Antin and the Pussycat Dolls new project, Girlicious:



This video explains why, in the future, all health care will be financed by tween clothing outlets:

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Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Ryan Phillippe, We Have Our (THIRD) Eye On YOU

Is it just us, or...

could Ryan Phillippe in some way fulfill Heath Ledger's unlived potential, dream the undreamt dreams of a talented life cut short? At the very least, he will plug up, if only for a brief moment, the gaping hole in the zeitgeist that was left by Heath's untimely departure from this mortal coil (Brooklyn). WE THINK!

Sure, he kinda sucked in Crash (a movie which actually sucked) and hasn't done much that we can even remember, but he's got SERIOUS movies coming out. This is how serious:

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Baby Laptops

Baby laptops, built for babies (and perhaps by babies), have caught our attention. Mostly because they can be had for a mere 1oo bones! But also because they can survive x-treme weather and dropping from great heights and African dust storms and they get the internets, like, anywhere.

We are pretty bored with the old model of financing computers and replacing them the second a drop of Sparks enters the keyboard. If they can stream Hype Machine and open gmail, we are GETTIN BABY LAPTOPS!!!!

Thank you Hundred Dollar Laptop man!

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