Well about me, My names Jennifer. Im a model/medical student/entreprenuer. I do alot with my career, I'm in medical school studying to be a Psychiatrists, and I also studied for Nursing as well :) I'm always stufying..
But at least we know now, once and for all, that Korea is indeed buhoooooooooring. Unlike say, Australia, or sub-Saharan Africa, or any of the myriad other places that the good flashbacks take place. But you know, it's good that we figured that out because I had been thinking of popping over to Seol whilst abroad this summer...
Oh you haven't heard? Yeah, I'm going to France... No, southern France. I say, let the tourists have Paris! Who want's Paris in July anyhoo? I much prefer the rolling vals de garrigue of Provence. So if you're anywhere near Fontvieille this summer, drop me a line...
Anyway, back to LOST:
-Pre-preggers Sun almost commits hara-kiri (you know, because of the bald guy) but Juliet uses her Other-magic and finds out that Jin is in fact the baby's daddy. Sun's secret shame remains hidden deep beneath her placid, Asian surface ....for now.
-Penny did not fall from the sky, as the most feeble-minded of you may have at first believed. Instead it is a hot Italian...with a punctured lung!!!!! Oh, if only there were a Soviet field surgeon on hand...
-Oh, there's one. But, wai..., wha..., waaaaaaaaaitaminnit! You're dead! Oh well. Quick Jin, neutralize him with your kung-fu!
-What's that Not-Penny? What did you say...? Hugo! Quick, you speak...Latinese, right? What is she saying? What? I can't hear you... Damn the Romans and their inscrutable, breathy accents! Wait, I hear her now, something...Yes, that's right! Oceanic flight 815...! What? They found our plane? But that's impossible! The plane is on the Island! No survivors...? No survivors... But we're survivors!!!! Oh my GOD, it's all so insane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
Dubai!Clayken, avec beard, traveled to Afghanistan this past year as a Unicef Ambassador, much like the modern day Audrey Hepburn that he is. He has just returned to the States and will hopefully be working on those bangs and a new album!
If you happen to spot him, exercise caution because he has
WEAPONS OF MASS CHARM-STRUCTION!
this is the last week of school. i have stuff to do. that's why i'm not posting the marijuana wolf audio. or anything else for that matter.
ps, i took a drug test today. send a little prayer to god asking him to hide all the THC in my pee.
Tiger with some Swedish lady
The tragic grace note of this otherwise TITILATING piece of gossip is that Tiger coulda been chillin' on Birth Control Island with Anna Nicole, Dear Sweet Angel, had she not been drugged into terminal nap time by Howard K. Stern. (Tip comes to you courtesy of our Minnesota-based sporting correspondent, Dave.)so, here i am in portland and i feel ALIVE for the first time. p-town, the last stop for the american dream before you crash into the pacific ocean. the city is filled with ghosts and you can tell the native american presence here is much stronger than back east. you can almost feel the suffering in the land. plus the bars are great and there's so much local beer everywhere you go. went dumpster diving last night with some awesome people and shared a great dinner. we had beet top salad, tea made from orange peels, and bread that only had a little mold on the top. man, those capitalists don't know what they're throwing away! i'd rather share in free food with cool people and talk about direct action to bring down the bush regime than eat cruelly prepared applebee's pesticide-grown salad and watch reality tv anyday. (i don't think i've even seen an applebee's, which must be the universe's way of telling me i NEED to move here.) i got a recipe for VEGAN CUPCAKES from a girl i met just standing in line for smokes. man, portland is the only real city left. it's inspiring to see how much your own hometown sucks when you are in a living breathing community like p-town. i'm really thinking about how my own life is devoid of REALNESS and community. it might be time to quit my job, jump on the first freight train that passes me by, and live off the fat of the dumpsters for awhile. all the way to oregon! i can't wait to start living in a place where you don't get milkshakes thrown at you just for riding a bike. (i still think that last one was a frosty) let the good life begin!
So I've been wanting to post this for weeks now. For some reason today's weather is just righ and has put me in the mood for TINY MOVES!
...........Whiskey and Guns: LOST Party, Desmond Style
Things get wacky when the island's resident firestarter starts looking at that damn picture again! With Penny on the brain, Desmond convinces Hurly and Jin to help him stick Charlie in the neck with one of Rousseau's arrows. Everything's going fine until Desmond rips off his head to reveal that he is, in fact
Archbishop Desmond Tutu!!!!!!!!!! Which explains the whole monk thing. Also some chick (not Penny) falls from the sky.
If Enchanted Lip Gloss doesn't save us all, surely Swarovski crystal-encrusted Vaseline will!
Also, don't miss Saurus and Health! Only three bones- that's a deal to boot. You can spend all the money you're saving on new panties- the Wolf is so good, you might shit the ones you wear to the show!
And before we drop anything else, like the remaining crumbs of our dignity, we shall drop a clue: the HypePipe fact gathering sponge that is spelled with one EM and one PEE and a number will come to the show
Oh, and it might be cold Friday night- be sure to wear a varf.
Bjork is bringing her amazing technicolor dreamcoat to SNL this Saturday.
Even if all you can do to record and preserve this magickal event is to press a cold stick of butter against the TV and save the indentation, then DO IT! She's gonna zap tracks from that new album right into your eyeballs!!!!!
The long awaited release of our OFHB Experience is finally upon us!!!! Now, as I mentioned before, this was a ginormeoungous task to undertake, to get all this shit cut and ready for a public viewing. In fact it was so ginormeoungous that I had to cut it into three seperate parts:
Part One: At the Show with Patrick Tutwiler, Boy Reporter
Part Two: Cedrerica's Magical Romp Through Stone Lawn
Part Three: The Interview
The Interview itself is actually only about 2 minutes, but SO MUCH happened that night, I felt I simply couldn't throw it all away. Click through to our Myspace Colony to get your fix...
Those who know me (and those who've been snooping around in the Guilford County Court House) know that I am in the midst of very intense and very painful marijuana rehabilitation process right now. In fact, I'm writing this post from inside this luxurious state-of-the-art drug rehabilitation facility:
The first step on my long, long road towards rehabilitation begins with an online course called Marijuana 101 wherein, I assume, I will learn how to make my bong hits more massive and determine which cleansing shakes actually work.
Since I believe in the cathartic powers of sharing, I've decided to keep you, dear Greensboro, posted on all my trials and tribulations as I begin this process and begin to understand myself. Head on over to my personal blog, Le Greensborian to see me attempting to convince the Man that I am indeed a fine, upstanding, young man...
George Hamilton, spokesperson for Ritz Toasted Chips, (no relation to Toastee from Flavor of Love II) may have jumped ahead of Mario Lopez in the line to succeed Bob Barker on the Price is Right.
The housewives in Ohio must have been threatening the producers that they would strangle themselves with their pantyhose if they didn't hire someone more like DADDY. We say good luck to you, Mr. Hamilton.
Mario shoulda stuck with hosting Pet Star!
Trent Reznor, aka NI(backwerd)N, aka Nine Inch Nails, new album is called "Year Zero." No one here at HypePipe was gonna shell out actual money for a CD, but THIS might change our minds...
Ooooh, it's so 90's I can almost hear the theme music to Melrose Place! (Which we're going to change to the National Anthem if we're ever elected to public office.)Friday the 13th, we avoided curses and bad luck and topped off an incident-free day by catching the WUAG sponsored show on the Stone Lawn at UNCG. We are going to launch an investigation of this "lawn" since we spent several hours there, but still don't know if it is made of stone, or if it actually exists.
The Bands: Adam Thorn and the Top Buttons and Opening Flower Happy Bird
The Sounds: referencing decades past (60s and 80s respectively) whilst forging new and enduring forms from musical scrap metal
The Highlights: (they're easy to read, like Highlights Magazine!)
*The lawns of UNCG are well cared for, and the grassy, springy topsoil is good for dance moves that would otherwise be impossible or banned on hard surfaces (and probably should be banned anyway!) Headstands were even attempted. And regretted....
We love to DANCE!
*Rhythm and pitch were spot on from the Topbuttons. Their playing is tight!
*Current cast of the 'Buttons includes Adam Thorn, Tim LaFollette, and Michael Sileno. Speaking of casts, a Top Buttons show is a lot like a well-rehearsed West Side Story. Their talent shines through cause there's never a musical pirrouette out of place.
*We can't wait for Adam Thorn to kick over a big old amp!
Gaddamm nbc.com and their limitedly interrupted online programming!!!!!! It has rendered my blogging abilities useless! For I cannot bear to sit in front of this computer for one more s
So According to the popular media, it will soon be truly out of fashion to use one of my favorite words on earth "Hos" (For pretty obvious reasons). So before this actually comes true, if it does (G-d Forbid), below I have posted one of my fondest memories of Hos.
It is a commentary on the lengths to which the employees of Winky Dinky Dog will go to ensure that each and every one of the sex workers in their neighborhood is fed a decent Winky meal.
enjoy....
Little did I know that when posing for the above photo, both myself and the pictured models were reveling in the freshest hottest trend to hit this side of Harajuku all Spring: Maritime Chic!
According to Japan.org (and my co-worker Nikki) the streets of Japan are currently teaming at the brim with boat-neck collars and horizontal stripes. However, beneath my sunglasses I was also rocking a fresh shiner on my left eye that I like to think really completed the whole look by adding some authentic sailor appeal.
So ladies and gentlemen grab some stripes, skinny jeans, and perhaps even a Hello Kitty Backpack, for this trend is the hottest Franco-Japanese collaboration since Cibo Matto!
The Video: "Lip Gloss," by Lil Mama
The Message: Enchanted lip gloss takes a young girl on a magic carpet ride to the top of the popularity pile. The message is, fuck cheerleading, LIP GLOSS will SAVE US ALL!!!!!
This weekend made me feel sooooo Courtney Love. The Courtney before the recent weight loss gave her play-do abs. Doll parts, Courtney, doll parts.
I wanna be the girl with the most cake
So have you ever been stranded on a deserted island only to find that it wasn't really deserted and in fact was populated by a creepy Others cult who then proceeded to torture, experiment on, and generally wig you out?
And then, one of them has to come and live with you on your side of the island and you're all like "Um what the fuck are you doing here?" and Jack's all like, "I know she totally fucked with your lives, but she's with me now so you have to be nice to her." And you're like "Whatever Jack, while you were gone Sawyer gave us pineapples." And Jack's like, "It's a fucking tropical island, there's pineapples everywhere!" And then your friend starts to die but that Other chick saves her life, but it turns out the whole thing was faked so that you would trust her and she's still sooooo one of the Others?
Yeah, totally awkward.
PS: Opening Flower Happy Bird interview coming soon! There's just so much of it!!!!!
Guess who is playing Keith Moon in the upcoming film about The Who!
Mike Myers is gonna fuck some stuff up as Keith Moon! Break shit- yeah! Who else should be in this movie?
Ginger Spice, Geri "Look at Me" Halliwell!
This is The Lisps, JAMMING THE FUCK out of the Tate Street Festival. See that tambourine? That's what we're talkin' about! Wooo! 
And this is the Official interview with the band. They kept it light, fun, and fast. Which is why we love them. We know you always wanted to know what cell phone carriers the famous and beautiful people use. That's why we ask. 
Cesar Alvarez, singer and Greensboro native, is clearly the hot ember around which the brightly burning camp fire of The Lisps was built. Band members Sammy Tunis, Jeremy Hoevenaar, and Eric Farber increase the heat and keep the air smoke free. After a friendly chat, during which we also discovered their preference for bangs that are neither too whispy nor too blunt, we noticed that Jeremy and lady friend, Ann, were drinking colored drinks through huge straws, which can only mean one thing: BUBBLE TEA! Boba House Bubble Tea- damn we were happy to see that bubble tea lives and breathes despite our city lacking a central China Town. Our faith in music and Greensboro have been restored by this affable and talented band. Shake your stuff, Lisps!
Dogs...
French people...
and Pan Asian cuisine!!!
We also met an AWESOME band from Brooklyn (the original New York-based Brooklyn) named The Lisps. A band straights and gays can get behind!!! Visit their page, add them to your Myspace friends list, and check back here for the exclusive HypePipe interview!
They're playing tonight with some other local-ish bands at THE SPACE. Go, go, go! They shake tambourines and jam out like they mean it- we think we saw the face of Jesus while they were playing!
There's MUCH more to report, so be sure to hit this pipe again sometime soon- IF YOU DIDN'T ALREADY BURN YOUR LIPS ON THIS HOT, HOT PIPE!!!!
We're pretty sure the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie opens this weekend. We think. Maybe tonight? We think we've seen pop up ads on Myspace... Um, soooo, yeah it's this weekend. (God, we're so strung out on Bjork mp3s and 30 Rock and fucking cold ass weather!) Click here for listings. Sparks and a straw make a great movie date!
Then you will LOVE this clip! Really, it's short, but magickal.
This is a throwback for those who remember the good 'ol days when Doug Savante and Marcia Cross were on a GOOD show, as opposed to their current stint on Desperate House Hos (And yes, I still watch the shit. DON'T JUDGE ME!).
Below is a tender moment that the two shared on Aaron Spelling's masterpiece of 90's cliché. The clip may be many years old, however Cross' characters both now and then have something very special in common (other than bat-shit crazy).
And that thing is, Homophobia.
Ladies and gentiles, with no further delay, I present to you………MELROSE PLACE!
In keeping with the theme of recent posts about the private lives of public gays, lets talk about Nick Swardson.
Yes, that Nick Swardson. Of Reno 9/11 fame. First off I just want to say that I think it's totally not funny to make fun of the tragic events of September 11th. I haven't ever seen this supposed "comedy" show, but I think treating the WAR ON TERROR!!!!!!!!!! with anything but the upmost seriousness is not only wrong, it's unfuckingAmerican.
That having been said, Nick Swardson is a total hottie! And I say he's a homo, but his myspace page says he's "not sure"!
Lets help him make up his mind:
If you just got a boner or were suddenly filled with a deep unabiding shame, you're gay!!!!!! And that goes for everyone, not just Nick.
Now it's time for all our faggot fans to write to their favorite faggolicious celebrities and tell them to come out of the closet!!!! This means you Dick Cheney, Paul Crouch, Mario Lopez, Bob Barker, Jesse Helms, Don Imus, and every last one of the Baltimore Oreoles! First Lance Bass, and now the world!!!!!!
