Last Night's Kid Nation: Heart Breaking

The biggest development in Bonanza City this week is the apparent abduction of Jared! He made just about two appearances last night and our HypePipe film experts determined that they were compiled mostly from stock footage. Will this politically charged, fractious desert community be able to overcome their loss and hold fair and free elections? Only the free dare to know...

It looked bleak at first, what with all the politically motivated pogo-ing and blatant vote buying (cou-Taylor-gh). Also, what was Greg doing to that poor little crying girl? Also, who's feeding these kids blue gumballs?! It looks like their dying of hypothermia. Yes it seemed as if BC was doomed to suffer under the yoke of partisan bickering forever... Oh wait! A band of plucky children has stolen the hearts and minds of their peers and now stand poised to lead the way to a brighter future! Maybe with new, democratically elected city officials, the sectarian violence will finally end! God bless America and bring back Jared!