Live Blogging from Colorado

We're in Colorado. Because we need some space. You would too if this were your fiance.
We feel really bad about ourselves for supporting the RIDICULARITY that is The Hills. Almost as bad as when we watch this show, but not quite. The latest and greatest episode to date brings Heidi to Crusted Butt, CO for some much needed SPACE. (I guess she's never heard of Space Camp, a summer program for the emotionally stunted.) Spencer even has a sister in this episode! With BRAIDS. Heidi and Spencer's relationship is starting to remind us of another L.A. couple...
Meanwhile in GAYE PAREE, Lauren is getting flirtatious (i.e. drunk and LOOSE) with some sketchy French hipsters.
This is France's answer to Justin Bobby, giving Lauren the EYE. (And by the "eye" we mean pink eye. Eventually. And syphillis.)
Lauren is really sad about Brody dating some chick back in L.A. (thanks for the bad news HO-drina!) and decides to grab life by the crepes and enjoy her new friends. She and Whitney (poor, poor Whitney!) meet les hipsters at a "fancy" club with a dress code that stipulates prom attire. Nothing happens, but for a second it looks like Lauren and le Rocker are going to be sexin' in the club like an R. Kelly video.
The problems of all these people on the Hills can be solved with just one thing: SOME SELF ESTEAM! If anything can stop Lauren from trying to derive her self worth from dating male whores and if anything can stop Heidi from recording "songs" and designing clothes, IT'S LOTION!
It is not just the girls Dove has singled out in its Real Beauty campaign who need help...

Then again, if people in L.A. had self esteem, there would be nothing good to watch on TV. CARRY ON HILLS!
But we still need some space.