Breaking News- Martha Stewart Wants to Get You Wasted!

Martha is joining a long list of celebrities who have decided that, yes, because they have shitloads of money, naturally, they should be making wine.

She's been too busy stomping grapes to contribute much in the way of quality content to her website. How else do you explain this?

A diarrhea costume for baby!

Or this:

Gobble gobble- who wants a drumstick?

Click here for more POINTLESSLY food-themed baby costumes. They will make you cry and laugh and have a seizure.

One of these days (i.e. when we get the SCRAM anklets removed) we'll do a celebrity wine tasting. Or, we'll just drink a bunch of Yeungling and fall asleep before the pizza arrives. No, but really, it'd be sweet if we actually tasted the wine that these celebrities have been pumping out and reported on it. But just in case we don't actually do it, here are our reviews anyway (based on our keen 6th sense of what celebrity wine probably tastes like).

Barry Manilow Pinot Grigio- Mandy's hair, Mandy's farts, notes of pine and ambrosia salad

Dan Aykroyd Chardonnay- oak, cat pee, Mountain Mist Febreze

Olivia Newton John Sauvignon Blanc- inside of roller skates from Xanadu

Vince Neil Merlot- chocolate, toast, burning tires, nuclear fallout, lip gloss, mitochondrial DNA