Showing posts with label jared. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jared. Show all posts

Friday, October 12, 2007

Breaking News: Bonanza City in Desperate Need of ChapStick!

And God, evidently. This week's Kid Nation was all about religion -an unnecessary divergence in our opinion. Cedric took notes, but then we went to Qdoba and they accidentally fell in my burrito and I ate them. Oh well, they're gone now.

Instead let us move our fingers into gyana mudrah and close our eyes. Now follow your breath and project this old youtube clip onto the space between your eyebrows:



Just to clarify,

Overall, we can definitely still say with certainty that Jared is still definitely THE SHIT!!!! Not only does he testify like a Pentecostal Minister (that is, with a dead animal) but he also meditates. Blabadey blah, other stuff happens, Taylor does her thing (tyranny), and Greg is still ugly (on the inside(too)). And we still don't care who the other 32 kids in Bonanza City are.

Aside from Jared the only standout was Ashley, Cody's girl-friend. This mid-western vixen's siren call was far too powerful for poor Cody, and he was eventually lured back to the rolling hills of Nebraska or wherever he's from. We wish him the best in both life and love, however we feel Taylor prolly summed it up best: "Good riddance, queef-face."

Okay, she didn't really say that. Yet.

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Sunday, September 30, 2007

The "Kids" are Burning Brighter Than EVER!!!!

Becase they are on FIRE!!!!!

Last Wednesday, HypePipe's dearest, sweetest, reality-based Double Dare Challenge instilled in us a new kind of joy.

We call it GLEE!

Ande here are our reasons:

+JARED!
+JARED!
+JARED!
+JARED!
+ JARED!
+JARED!

Now this episode was filled with CONFLICT, SACRIFICE, and A HUGE INFLATABLE BOUNCE-HOUSE SLIDE. But Jared continues to be the brightest star to shine on this miracle of a seemingly Dr. Phil sanctioned child-project.

Emilie was another notable standout. She, by far, was THE most affected tot when the kid who reminds us of the devil jumpstarted the chickin killin' dialogue.

She fought the idea, then agreed to it, then freaked out, was O.K., then got pissed all OVER again. Sounds to us like she's ready for own MTV series!

BUT SHE DIDN'T QUIT LIKE JIMMY (who we still love, but aren't inspired by anymore).

All in all, this second episode of Kid Nation was strong confirmation that, just as we hoped that they would, THE TWEENS ARE INHERITING THE EARTH (duhhh)!

Now, I proudly present to you........JARED!

-enjoy!

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