Urban Outfitters Helping or Hurting?

UO is shipping out a kit that has everything you need to podcast- except beer! But is this a good idea? Will college freshmen soon be demanding that soundproof recording studios be installed in their dorms? Will we stop talking on the phone and start referring family members to our podcasts? Does this mean classes of the future will be taught by iPods preloaded with educational mp3s?

Can this box of macaroni and cheese be considered an iPod if I paint a clickwheel on it and keep my CDs inside? Will Britney get the kids back? And will (P)al Gore help her?!

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The "Kids" are Burning Brighter Than EVER!!!!

Becase they are on FIRE!!!!!

Last Wednesday, HypePipe's dearest, sweetest, reality-based Double Dare Challenge instilled in us a new kind of joy.

We call it GLEE!

Ande here are our reasons:

+JARED!
+JARED!
+JARED!
+JARED!
+ JARED!
+JARED!

Now this episode was filled with CONFLICT, SACRIFICE, and A HUGE INFLATABLE BOUNCE-HOUSE SLIDE. But Jared continues to be the brightest star to shine on this miracle of a seemingly Dr. Phil sanctioned child-project.

Emilie was another notable standout. She, by far, was THE most affected tot when the kid who reminds us of the devil jumpstarted the chickin killin' dialogue.

She fought the idea, then agreed to it, then freaked out, was O.K., then got pissed all OVER again. Sounds to us like she's ready for own MTV series!

BUT SHE DIDN'T QUIT LIKE JIMMY (who we still love, but aren't inspired by anymore).

All in all, this second episode of Kid Nation was strong confirmation that, just as we hoped that they would, THE TWEENS ARE INHERITING THE EARTH (duhhh)!

Now, I proudly present to you........JARED!

-enjoy!

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Kids (not the 8th Street ones) to Appear on Radiohead's Album

Don't call it a comeback- youth has been scoring points all along even as OLD PEOPLE continue to trounce them in public. (Well, except for Sir Richard Branson- he dumb.) Back in March of this year Radiohead's Colin Greenwood and wunderkind producer Nigel Godrich went to some school to record some kids singing for what I HOPE is not another Kidzbop release. I'm pretty sure its for their new album.

WHICH I CAN'T WAIT TO BUY/STEAL (kidding!) /BORROW/DOWNLOAD

From The Music Slut: Radiohead Records Track with 8 Year Olds

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Suite and Sour Chicken

The Present: puffy, milk-fed veal calves, trapped in the Disney Channel torture pen.

The Future: man-o-rexic skinny bitches who wear eye liner!

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It Takes a Nation of TWEENS to Hold us Back

Did we ever think that the tweens would NOT take over the world?
Oh they are going to, and they are going to start this fall on CBS with KID NATION!!!!!

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/fall_preview_2007/

Click on the link to the fall preview schedule, then click on the box that says "Kid Nation." Be sure you have at least 5 minutes and sound to watch the whole preview. You want to be able to hear those tweens breaking down- especially the laundry scene. "That's not soap- it's butter!"

It's like Lord of the Flies- I really think they're gonna murder that prissy girl that looks like a mini-Terri Hatcher.

I think the whole show counts as child abuse, but then again, isn't abuse the very foundation of good reality tv?

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Wild and Crazy Kids

I now know what Tweens do when they're not dressing inappropriately for their age, sucking down Sunny Delight, or controlling 68% of our nation's GDP.

THEY BLOG!

Not in the traditional sense of the word, but by reviewing albums of other Tweens on Amazon. Here's one of the more nuanced appraisals of young Aaron Carter:

Anyway, this CD is far from the best I've heard, but it works great if you're kid around 5 to 10 years old. Aaron had a cute voice back then, but he and his music has matured and grown away from this album. If you are an Aaron-fan, you probably bought this record long ago. For right now, he's working on his 6th album "Saturday Night" - sorry, can't help it! I am excited!

Bored at work? There are 222 more to read! Yea for TWEEEENS!!!!

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Bonjour FROM THE FUTURE!!!!!!!!!

So in case you didn't know, the reason the French are so fashionable is because they live in the future. Six hours in the future. Which is enough time to steal all the hottest trends and keep them for themselves. Fucking French people.

Anyway, when last we talked I was in New York, non? Well, I ditched that place stat and made my way, via discunt airline, to a place not so far in the future as France and consequently not as fashionable, yet still far enough in the future to think wearing black socks all the time is cool. Namely, Liverpool. And let me tell you, if you think you got a tween problem back in Amuhrica you ain't seen nothing. This place is infested!







To read the rest of Patrick's travel log and see all his sexxxy pictures, Cliquer ici!

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And The Tweens Shall Inherit The Summer (Jam)

So, on the heels of Lil Mama's immortal classic Lip Gloss (thank you Perez, but we had it first), I have found a couple new tracks that are bieng dropped just in time for Summer Jamz the world over.

Rhianna must have gotten tired of Ellen playing that damn song of hers everyday because she finally made A NEW ONE. It's called "Shut Up and Drive." This time around she seems to have taken Soft Cell back to the sample store and traded them in for Orgy. No shit ya'll. I couldn't believe it either, but it's fire. I had to change tank-tops twice!

And THIS SHIT made me question my sobriety when i not only saw and heard, but ENJOYED IT! Somehow Avril Lavigne took time off from makin my butt itch to recruit Lip Glossy Lil Mama to remix her POS anthem "Girlfriend." And the results.....I'm too embarrassed to share, but go to Idolator, take a listen, then decide for your self.

Then come to the Spelling Bea tonight and call me a sell out!

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