Set Your TiVo's Like They've Never Been Set Before

IT'S...

If you don't watch this show, then YOU HATE AMERICA!

Celebrity Rickshaw: it's the only show where celebrities compete in rickshaw-to-rickshaw HEATS for donations to their favorite charity! And Olive Garden coupons! It's high concept, high budget, and it is the only reality show for the summer that is dressed head to toe in a silky coat of CHINCHILLA FUR.

We're currently shopping our show treatment to UPN and the WB. Celebrity Rickshaw will change your life. And your morals!!!

The first exciting episode takes Tara Reid and Gary Coleman to the streets of Jakarta.



The Celebrity Rickshaw makes its next stop in Pyongyang! (IS THERE BOTOX IN NORTH KOREA?!) Tune in to find out and see many more exciting and sexy celebs, such as:

The Tracy Flick girl from "The Paper"

Bubbles

Jamie-Lynn Spears, pregnant

Betheny, who WILLS her rickshaw to victory with her steely gaze. And common sense!

And this guy from Short Bus

And our celebrity passenger for each and every EXPLOSIVE ROUND OF CELEBRITY RICKSHAW:

Ms. Khloe Kardashian

Celebrity Rickshaw. Watch it. With your eyes.

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Chelsea Can You Hear Me?

Our love for Chelsea Handler is like the love a sailor has for a red sky at night. We've been watching her show, Chelsea Lately, and it's become the most compelling new RGC. (Reason to Get Cable)

She's like Bill Maher, except FUNNY. And she's shoving her pointy reckoning up the butthole of Hollywood! Hooray! We want Chelsea to team up with Kathy Griffin to fight crime. Celebri-crime!

We ALSO want Chelsea to be the 4th female chair warmer on The View. Even though we don't really care about The View, everyone else is jangling their two cents around, why not us?

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Pan-Teen (Pro-V) Witches!

If anyone is wondering what to get me for Bastille Day, I offer for your consideration the DVD of Korea's witch-based tv show, featuring Happening Haircuts and Fabulous Fashions: Witch Yoo Hee!

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Do Like To Watch Men Crying???

Heaven knows I do! Maybe not the 2.5 hours of it that I was exposed to last weekend. But a 1 hour weekly session of man tears is more my speed ( and a lot less sad than this), and luckily ABC read my mind is now catering to my sick sick desire with the creation of The Shar Jackson Show!

Imagine one part Starting Over, one part Extreme Makeover (and not the Home Edition), sprinkled with a dash of Punk'd. Sounds tasty right! Add to that a heaping helping of K-Fed's ex and you have my new favorite reason to live for Monday nights. Now there are two other hos (oops, i mean bitches) that host the show but Shar is what really counts. I think I'm obsessed more with the fact that she is getting work, than with her as an actual person.

This past week, I saw her see a man through surgery to have a lump removed from his skull in order to increase his self-esteem right before The Bitches take him to a club and challenge him to get laid. Genius I tell you! PURE GENIUS!

Now they heal the hearts of broken women too, but that's why MJH and MBB keep the Lifetime Network alive. So I fast forward through those parts.

Anywho, I've gone on far too long. Next Monday @ 9pm, buckle down, grab a sparks, some Kleenex, and your lip gloss then prepare to either weep the night away or laugh until you shit in your pants!

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