Set Your TiVo's Like They've Never Been Set Before

IT'S...

If you don't watch this show, then YOU HATE AMERICA!

Celebrity Rickshaw: it's the only show where celebrities compete in rickshaw-to-rickshaw HEATS for donations to their favorite charity! And Olive Garden coupons! It's high concept, high budget, and it is the only reality show for the summer that is dressed head to toe in a silky coat of CHINCHILLA FUR.

We're currently shopping our show treatment to UPN and the WB. Celebrity Rickshaw will change your life. And your morals!!!

The first exciting episode takes Tara Reid and Gary Coleman to the streets of Jakarta.



The Celebrity Rickshaw makes its next stop in Pyongyang! (IS THERE BOTOX IN NORTH KOREA?!) Tune in to find out and see many more exciting and sexy celebs, such as:

The Tracy Flick girl from "The Paper"

Bubbles

Jamie-Lynn Spears, pregnant

Betheny, who WILLS her rickshaw to victory with her steely gaze. And common sense!

And this guy from Short Bus

And our celebrity passenger for each and every EXPLOSIVE ROUND OF CELEBRITY RICKSHAW:

Ms. Khloe Kardashian

Celebrity Rickshaw. Watch it. With your eyes.

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I Couldn't Watch the Whole VMA's Cause I Was Running Low on Gas-X

Last night I just couldn't watch more than a few spurts of MTV's Video Music Awards. Mostly because I was far more emotionally invested in VH1's Rock of Love, but also because I missed the single most important reason for watching the damn VMAs in the first place. I turned on the TV at 9:07. After Britney had done THIS:

Click here to see MTV's clip. (I'm sure they have a crack team of interns deleting files from YouTube as I type this.) What's really hilarious about the clip is that the html address is "britney kickin ass and takin names at the vmas." I watched the clip and it's more like "Britney falling in the butthole of Las Vegas and being pooped out onto the VMA stage."

Like any self-respecting viewer who's aging out of a demographic, I watched Rock Of Love and tuned into the VMAs during commercials. Even though the bits and pieces of the Video Music Awards that I did watch gave me sharp abdominal pains, it was more than made up for by the hour of drunkscapades and superhuman displays of Skank Power that is Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. God, I love those slutty drunks!

During a ROL commercial, I happened to catch Hayden Panitierre reporting LIVE from the Las Vegas Neutrogena Anti-Blemish Pore-Refining Lounge. It should have won an award for most bizarre product placement with a theme tie-in. Las Vegas? Acne? Sure! (Clear skin is so MONEY.) And who do you suppose was the house band for the VMAs? None other than the official music-maker of The Hills' commercial breaks, MARK RONSON!

Because we were far too bloated (and out of Gas-X) to live blog all this nonsense, here is a link to another blog that actually covered the confusing mish mash of loose morals and loose dancing that was the 2007 Video Music Awards: BREAKING MTV VMA LIVE BLOG: Britney Needs to Get In On Our Ass-Action Lawsuit

And for the hard-core Bret heads, I give you this wunnerful clip: Bret Michaels Talking About Stuff and Drinking an Adult Beverage

Enjoy!

UPDATE: fourfour's VMA post is up on VH1's blog! It is amazing and epic. It took my breath away. Read it! VMAs Recap: What Happened in Vegas

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It Takes a Nation of TWEENS to Hold us Back

Did we ever think that the tweens would NOT take over the world?
Oh they are going to, and they are going to start this fall on CBS with KID NATION!!!!!

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/fall_preview_2007/

Click on the link to the fall preview schedule, then click on the box that says "Kid Nation." Be sure you have at least 5 minutes and sound to watch the whole preview. You want to be able to hear those tweens breaking down- especially the laundry scene. "That's not soap- it's butter!"

It's like Lord of the Flies- I really think they're gonna murder that prissy girl that looks like a mini-Terri Hatcher.

I think the whole show counts as child abuse, but then again, isn't abuse the very foundation of good reality tv?

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