Letters from Fred

This is Fred. And not only is he a published author and ex-marine, but he is also my dad. And if there's one thing my dad loves more than aaaaaanything in the whole world, it's going to the Carribbean on big big boats. I mean he just loves it! Does it all the time. It's great.

And one of the great things about being in the Tutwiler family is that everytime Fred goes to sea, those of us back home are treated to daily, colorful e-mails detailing his exploits. Sometimes these e-mails approach genius. And sometimes, just sometimes, they transcend genius and become hype.

I have excerpted below for you, dear readers, some of the best Letters from Fred. Enjoy!

"Made it through the trip into Veracruz. Whoa, what an experience. I went with chatty Anita. Oh my GOD what a freaking mistake that was! Whew! I will NEVER again make the mistake of going ashore alone with a bitchy yankee who thinks every-fucking-body in Mexico is out to rip her off. Fortunately, she will drink anything I put in front of her, so it was pretty easy to get her plastered enough that she just kind of sat there frowning and didn't say much. I took her out to the street at one point and told her to sit on the bench right across from the canal and not move till I got back. I gave her a Tecate, a sandwich from the deli and a bottle of water. I made sure she had her pool towel (she wanted to go to the beach, and bitched about it all day even though I TOLD the silly little twit that if she went with me there would be no beach). I told her, if she got bored, or if I forgot to come back, she should just hold her towel up to a cab driver so they could read 'Carnival' and they would know where to take her."

To get a full recap of Fred's most recent trip to Veracruz, click thru to the Greensborian!