Showing posts with label 2008 olympics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2008 olympics. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
EIGHT EIGHT 0 EIGHT
HypePipe has OLYMPIC FEVER!
And the only cure is MORE OLYMPICS! For the past 189 days we have been drinking Coca-Cola products, watching NBC non-stop, and waiting for the EXPLOSIVE opening ceremony. WHICH POPS OFF IN LESS THAN 4 HOURS! Meredith Vieira has listened to two whole hours of "In Flight Mandarin" and Bob Costas has had his remaining pores surgically removed. It's gonna be a great Olympics!
We're not sure how much of Jesse Camp's hair was used in the construction of the Birds' Nest, but it certainly does look stunning on the Today Show. At this point, the only important detail of the opening ceremonies to end all ceremonies (sorry Salt Lake City) is WHO OR WHAT IS GOING TO CAUSE A DISTURBANCE OF OLYMPIC PROPORTIONS BY PROTESTING THE PAGEANTRY!!!
Will the Beastie Boys parachute into the stadium during the
opening ceremonies in order to help Free Tibet?
opening ceremonies in order to help Free Tibet?
Or will these Chinese girls, taking new pix for their Facebook, decide to "declare
independence" and take their tops off during the opening ceremonies?
HypePipe votes for sexxxy French civil disobedience by hot Reporters Sans Frontières.
Take your temperature- maybe YOU have Olympic fever!
This dog has Olympic fever.
This can of diet Coke has Olympic fever.
This picture of a tank running over somebody has Olympic fever.
Even hula hoops can get Olympic fever.
Woah, these skulls have it... (CUTE!)
These Chinese police ladies do not have Olympic fever.
BTDubs, do Tibetan people have O.F.??? Can't tell! Looks like they want to
stop the Olympics and also beeee in them. OMG, Tibetans be so crazy!
In closing, these are the Top 6.5 Things We Are Fucking Jazzed About The 8.8.08 Olympic Games:
1. PAGEANTRY! (See: Superbowl Halftime Shows, America's Best Dance Crew, Olympics of Year's Past, Madonna)
2. Old bitches who can SWIM. Take a drink every time you hear someone call Dara Torres "old." You will be dead from alcohol poisoning after watching NBC for an hour.
3. Hearing Daft Punk all the time on TV during inspirational sports montages. Harder Better Faster Stronger!
4. PROTEST! (See: Sexxxy French Reporters)
6. The Today Show's twitter account! Meredith, Matt, Al and Ann are tweeting. Hopefully Ms. Ann will get drunk and take the Today Show cell phone from Meredith to give the public some UNFILTERED robot-generated content.
6.5 Did you hear about Clay Aiken's baby?
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
The Today Show Conducts "Witch Trial" on the Plaza
Poor Natalie Morales, the third hour meat by-product filler in the giant box of CORN DOGS that the Today Show has become, was tried for witchcraft in an olympic size above-ground pool on the Plaza this morning with some Olympic swimmers.
She floated- she's a witch!
It was either a witch trial or a promotion for the Beijing Olympics. I'm not sure. There was a lot of Chinese music and a fan that said "China Rising" above the Today Show logo. And there was a lot of chatter about some upcoming "summer games." I guess we'll never know. Click here to see the whole Today Show Crew, including NatMo as the (very) poor man's Madonna, on Halloween!Tuesday, August 7, 2007
They're BaaaaACK!
And by they, we mean the G-Spot's own seminal rawk outfit KUDZU WISH along with THE TINY METEORS and BRONZED CHORUS!
And by back, we mean THEY ARE REUINTING TO CELEBRATE THE FINAL 365 DAYS WE HAVE BEFORE THE CHINESE TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
And by reuniting, we mean THURS NIGHT @ TWO ART CHICKS!
So put on your best Mao suit and come down to burn your lips on this reunion which promises to be hotter than the weather man and classier than all the Real World Reunions combined!
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