Paris Hates Drugs Like She Hates Showing Her Tits

After denying repeatedly to Larry King and Oprah and Kelly Ripa and G-d that she has ever so much as looked at a drug...

Photos emerge of Paris. Doing drugs. ALL OVER TOWN. Like they are fuckin' going out of style. Check out photos at the EvilBeet. There's even one of Paris in an elevator, sparking it up! (Girl, you know you can't do that shit in a classy place like the Hampton Inn.)

WE THINK SHE SHOT UP THOSE JOINTS WITH PCP!!!!! (at least we hope she did)

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Bloghab

Just so's you guys know, with your help and your money, I'm well on my way towards successfully recovering from my terrible car accident where I drunkenly killed someone and then walked away with impunity because of my local celebrity status.

JSLASHK! Even though I am indeed a local celebrity and I am making a painful journey through rehab, I am not Tolly Carr. Only Tolly Carr is Tolly Carr.

And God will punish him for it.

But God loves me, and He wants me to tell you to go over and look at how well I did on my Marijuana 101 test! I, of course, passed with flying colors. Click thru to the Greensborian to check it out!

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News Gods play a wicked round of Mad Libs

.....................Goofy Government Antics

Noun: Bong Hits for Jesus

Government Institution: Supreme Court

Name: Ken Starr

Place: Juneau, Alaska

Occupation: Stoner Anime Wizard


Bong Hits for Jesus were the topic of conversation today at
......(noun)

the Supreme Court where Ken Starr defended a principal from
..(gov. inst.)...........(name)

Juneau, Alaska for suspending a student for being a
fff(place)

stoner anime wizard .
....(occupation)


Read the whole story here.

Favorite quotes:

"Frederick was a high school senior in Juneau when he decided to display the banner [reading "Bong Hits For Jesus"] at a school-sanctioned event to watch the Olympic torch pass through the city on its way to the 2002 Winter Games in Salt Lake City."

"A bong is a water pipe that is used to smoke marijuana."

"Two years after the banner incident, Frederick pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of selling marijuana, according to Texas court records."

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