BREAKING NEWS- Larry Birkhead is the Daddy!

Beautiful dueeeeets

According to this report, Larry Birkhead is the real father. Sorry, Howard. Sorry, OJ. And deepest condolences to Bubbles. None of y'all are the babydaddy!

All we can say is praise Cher! Little Dannielynn finally has a chance at life now that she is out of the icy death grips of Virgie and Howard K. Stern. We give Larry at least ten years before he does something dumb like let her try cocaine, become a model, or dabble in Scientology.

Congratulations! Anna Nicole, dear sweet angel, is watching you from Heaven!