Sally Field's BIG SECRET

Sally Field is telling all of her girlfriends about once-a-month BONE-niva. You know, for people who are too busy for complicated weekly pill regimens. (Her girlfriends must have eaten a lot of lead paint chips or something, because that's just dumb. Seriously, they have bigger problems than osteoporosis if they can't squeeze in some pill time once a week!)

So what is Sally's big secret?

Sally doesn't have Osteoporosis- she has AVIAN BONE DISEASE!

(You know, hollow bones, like a bird.)