The Briefest Introduction We Can Muster

Welcome to
HypePipe!

Are you ready for the freshest gossip, the dampest news, and the hottest rumors in all of the Triad? We're here to give you just that. HypePipe is all things hype. Packed in a pipe. Passed directly to you.

Introduction to All Things Hype:

1. to stimulate, excite, or agitate

If we do anything right, HypePipe will stimulate your appetite for gossip, excite your lust for news, and agitate your passion for fashion. Think about a washing machine full of stirrup pants. That's the kind of agitation we're talking about.

2. to create interest in by flamboyant or dramatic methods

If there's something HOT coming through the pipe, we'll make flamboyantly sure that you, our precious readers, know about it first.

3. to intensify (advertising, promotion, or publicity) by ingenious or questionable claims, methods

Our methods may be questionable, but we think you'll be
pleased with the results.

4. exaggerated publicity; hoopla

Hoopla.
Hula hoopla.

5. an ingenious or questionable claim, method, etc., used in advertising, promotion, or publicity to intensify the effect

Whether we're watching hours of tv, or pounding the pubs, our reports (the topics of which will range from trends in mixed drinks to who's wearing ugly outfits) will constantly strive to intensify your experience of living. Put hype in your life- let it come from our pipe! Hype for hire: we will also hype anything you'd like us to. For a fee. (Schedule to be posted.)

6. a hypodermic needle

We aim to mainline gossip- directly into your veins!

Thank you for reading HypePipe! pass it around...

(Thanks dictionary.com. What would we do without you?!)