The final word on He Who Must Not Be Named
Though it has been observed by some (Eryn) that jokes about and references to the Idol that Almost Was are rapidly losing their caché 'round these parts, there are nonetheless still some riveting and somewhat scandalous Daughtry rumors that need airing. Here they are, in list form:
1) Those drunk, vomiting hos in the front row? They were from FLORIDA! Apparently Daughtry Inc. had them shipped in, in order to make an otherwise hideous Cackalack crowd look nice for the music video they were shooting. Boooooo.
2) Baldy just bought a house in Kernersville. Yes, he's moving to Kernersville. Of his own volition. Whadda kook! (No offense Lisa.)
3) Previous record for number of kegs of beer sold by Natty Greene's in one night:
.................45 (during last year's Get Down Town)
Number of kegs of beer destroyed by insatiable Daughtry "fans":
.................80!!!!!!!!
Obviously they were attempting to poison themselves in order to get medivac-ed the fuck out of Hamburger Square.
4) One small black child was trampled during the show. Daughtry felt so bad about it, he invited the kid to his after party, where he sat around eating a sandwich, looking scared.
5) At that very same after party, Daughtry was overheard asking for a Mich Ultra!!!!
Mich Ultra + eyeliner = Faggo!
6) And finally, and perhaps most shockingly: Chris Daughtry, and his entire family, and all his friends, are bad tippers! Ten hours I worked. My take? $60. Lame to the max!
Alright! That's it. Nothing more shall be written about Chris Daughtry, or any other Honda employee, past or present, on this blog, ever again!
6 comments:
When I was in the hospital for surgery on my back, I watched tapes of Chris Daughtry and then when i was at home laid up recovering I listened to the CD that my neice bought for me. Chris may not be perfect, but he's only human. And hopefully he'll learn that fame isn't all it's cracked up to be. We will always love him for bringing music to us.
For whatever reason you have decided to slander Daughtry. Everybody has problems and if that gives you joy or makes your life feel better, then so be it. But I know for a fact that Chris is a nice guy, a good man, a Christian that has been generous even though he doesn't get publicity for these acts. They will remain private because that is his wish and I respect that. So my friend, may God bless and forgive you.
for your information, i choose to live in kernersville as a hideout. no one comes to visit kernersville which is why i guess mr. d has chosen to live here. oh yeah and we still have some trees here. so no offense taken to your statement. btw, mr. d only lives about 5 miles from me and even in that short of a distance, i doubt we will ever cross paths in the bustling metropolis known as K-VEGAS.
i'm a real christian and i tip well! he brought drunkness and sinful clothing to elm street. the lord will judge him.
I am dumping mike to date hype pipe. I am sooo in love.
-eryn
I live in KernersVegas and have run into him on several occasions. Once I was escorting my mother, who is using a cane, to a restaurant. Not only did he not hold the door for her, he was using profanity and talking about all of the 'babes he's bedded' since his 15 minutes of fame. Lock up your Daughters!!!
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