Crazy Bitch Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'!

We're gonna need some Visine real soon, cause the Pipe is burning up with Jackson Gossip Mania! Not only is Bubbles the real daddy of Dannielynn, but some crazy bitch is claiming that she is the real mother of Michael Jackson's three human (we think) companions / children / playmates Prince, Paris and the Savior of the Human Race, Blanket.

Good parenting!

Nona Paris Lola Jackson, crazy bitch in question, is suing the King of Pop to get a piece of his cheese. She claims that she gave birth to all three children and that Michael never did knock boots with Debbie Rowe, the woman who was married to Jackson and gave birth to all three of his children. Nona, brilliant legal mind that she is, has gone with what we are calling the Carrboro Defense: "I gave birth through the means of water birth because I am technically a [sic] herbalist."

We're impressed by the size of ovaries she must have to pull this kind of mess, but seriously, what is wrong with this bitch?