TV Holiday

So much TV today! Aside from staying home from work with the Norovirus, drinking Gatorade and trying not to barf in technicolor, TV was all I managed to accomplish today. Even though I got in two good Golden Girls reruns before I passed out from sheer nauseated exhaustion, I have to give Inside Edition credit for making my FUCKING DAY. They opened with "Heather Mills on Dancing with the Stars: How does She Keep Her Leg on?" A whole LEAD STORY on the very real possibility of Heather's leg flying off during competition and smacking Leeza Gibbons in the head. Thank you Inside Edition for reading my mind! Heather's answer? A "really big strap."

One leg, but how many shoes?

My second favorite story from this evening's Edition: a recurring segment they call the Rat Patrol. New York City's trendiest restaurants were under the intense scrutiny of Deborah Norville's crack team of investigative journalists. I've never seen so many rats and mice shot in night vision. I think they are going to get a Pulitzer. Why do i love Inside Edition? Because they put Heather Mills' leg and restaurant rats right at the top of the list of newsworthy items. Maybe the Rat Patrol could come to Greensboro. I wonder what they'd find at Taco Bell...

My favorite restaurant rats are the ones that skate around on hot skillets with butter on their feet: