A Scranto-centric Branding Strategy
includes donuts for the break room. Here is a prominent Democrat delivering donuts to coal miners in Florida/Iowa/the Battleground State of Pittsburgh.
Showing posts with label anna nicole is watching from heaven. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anna nicole is watching from heaven. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Friday, September 21, 2007
We Tried to Go Easy on Her
Even though she wore her "smart glasses" Britney was out of the Spelling Bea (Arthur) on her first word. The word was "the." We tried to go easy on her...
Click here for more of Britney in a vegetative state "eating" a dillybar in a liquor store. Ooooh, three of our favorite things, all in one photo! Hat trick!
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Muscle Relaxers, Y'all
We are kinda totally sort of completely (maybe) over the whole Britney at the Awards That Must Not Be Named thing. For a day or two we thought her performance was just a hallucination caused by all the Chinese yogurts from the dollar store we've been eating, then we didn't care, then we thought maybe the whole VMAs was a dream conceived in the sleeping mind of a child with cancer in an episode of Highway to Heaven. And then we went back to not caring again, but not before we figured out what made the whole thing possible in the first place.
PILLS!
Brit Brit looked so peaceful (like an angel!) as she sleep-danced her way through the middle school talent show that was the VMAs because, like a 1970s housewife, she got good and relaxed for the show with plenty of VALIUM!
Our guess is she ate a whole lot of muscle relaxers prior to the show, ordered special for the ocassion from her favorite Mexican pharmacy. Cousin and fame whore, Alli Sims, probably gave her the water to wash it down. (Enabler!) Seriously, at the very least someone needs to make sure she stays away from this guy:
BEFORE SHE ENDS UP IN A HARD ROCK HOTEL WITH FIFTEEN POUNDS OF DRUGS IN HER STOMACH (and/or UP HER BUTT)!!!!!
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Tea Party With Jesus
This clip is like a beautiful, beautiful Thomas Kincaid painting of a ship full of angels sailing into a harbor lit by a magic light house at sunset.
She loved life, she loved to laugh (like that Italy guy), and she loved the Lord. Anna Nicole is having a tea party with Jesus right now!
Saturday, July 28, 2007
I Hope NASA Goes to Planet Unicorn (Heyyy)
Patrick sent this all the way from France. It's funny, inspiring, and full of UNICORNS! And it's REEeeeEAaAaLLLy GAI.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
The Party's Over, Say Goodbye
After all this recent crazy out of control foolishness, Lindsay's gonna REALLY forREALforREAL on the real real real real REAL REAL REAL real real real go to rehab...
In AZKABAN!
Now she and Al Gore can't do that thing they were gonna do.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Krispy Kreme is Trying to Save its Ass
By making ours BIGGER!
Sales are down and stores are closing, so Krispy Kreme is puttin ice cream on donuts now. This really is genius and confirms something we have suspected for a while: all problems could be solved if we just PUTsomeICEcreamONIT!
It actually looks kind of good. We'll post a review if we ever find ourselves hungover and in the immediate vicinity of a Krispy Kreme. Remember, a good, thick coating of ice cream can save the world!
Friday, July 13, 2007
Ty Pennington, Adderall, duh!
So, according to our friends at Idolator, a wee pop princess (blind item, but I think it's probably Dakota Fanning) has been poppin' Adderall and even offering it to everybody she sees. This normally wouldn't interest me more than any other story about drug abuse. I do, however, harbor a sneaking suspicion that Ty Pennington, the megaphone-crazed "builder" on Extreme Makeover: Emotional Manipulation Edition, is TOTALLY involved.
Did anyone else know that Ty was the official spokesdude for Adderall? Is anyone surprised to learn that he is?
It's a celebrity/pharmaceutical match made in heaven! Sally would be proud!
Friday, April 27, 2007
Fuck Carmen San Diego! Where in the World is Matt Lauer?
Dubai!HypePipe will eat a gas station hot dog if Matt Lauer does not make Dubai the first stop on his Where In the World world tour!!!!
If you can stand what we are certain will be Meredith Vieira's unattractive displays of emotional neediness in the absence of her well-muscled co-host, tune in Monday morning to watch Mr. Lauer broadcast live from Birth Control Island, aka Jumeira Palm.
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