Showing posts with label dubai. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dubai. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

BREAKING NEWS: HypePipe is forced to learn about LOSS!

The HypePipe offices were hit with some rather devastating news this morning that we feel obligated to share with our sexy, well moisturized readership.

Our favorite non-smoking Banjee Gurl and HypePipe co-founder, Erica, will be taking an indefinitely long hiatus from contributing to the pipe. She is moving to Dubai to pursue several projects which include but are not limited to:
· Consulting on the design and construction of "The Cloud"
· Complete her master’s in interior design at the American University In Dubai

· Spreading her AMAZING PEACE all over the Emirates.
· Bringing Buttons to the impoverished children of the slaves that are made to build all the awesome stuff in Dubai
· AND MOST IMPORTANTLY: Helping Bubbles to develop a cure for Vitiligo!

As many of you may or may not know, this phenomenal woman not only co-conceived but carried this cake-eating blog on her back for the past several months. So it is only proper that she step away to re-center, replenish, and find herself within the ultra luxurious trappings of Dubai!

So feel free to overload our e-mail and flood the message boards with your love and devotion and perhaps, just perhaps, If we ALL behave ourselves and think positively enough we will see one of her impeccably impressive posts pop up from the ether of the internets later down the road.

In the meantime Erica, this is for you….

O-P-U-L-E-N-C-E!
Opulence IS YOU. YOU OWN EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING IS YOURS!







And You Will Be Missed...
With tons of LOVE...
(Up your butt)!

-Cedric and Patrick

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Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Dubai-spot


Tiny jets and MASSSSSSIVE luxury are on the way and they need to hurry up already. We are more than just a tiny bit geeked (and foolishly impatient) for the building of the AWESOME sushi restaurants, fine shopping emporiums, and fabulous fashion districts that are sure to be first on the international businessperson's to do list. To the mayor or anyone else who can bring Neiman Marcus to Greensboro: HOLLA

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Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Dubai is Doing Some Really Good Drugs


Now we know why Anna Nicole, dear sweet angel, wanted to go there! The city of Dubai, world capital of luxury, is HIGH on some crazy drugs, like all of the time. An architect has proposed building this crazy drug-inspired building, dubbed "The Cloud." It's a 300 meter tall building, perched in the air on a bunch of Nicole Richie-like legs. Sounds safe, right? It has yet to be built (they probably will have to import even more cheap labor and abuse the shit out of some human rights to get it done) but you couldn't pay us to go up in that thing. Not even if we had to use the bathroom. Really bad.

(Thanks Puddin' for the tip!)

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Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Matt Lauer Can Shove Bhutan Up His Ass!

If Matt does not magically appear on televisions across America broadcasting live from Dubai tomorrow (Thursday) or the day after (Friday), may the earthly agents of Jesus Christ our Lord give him a drug resistant staph infection- ON HIS BALLS!


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Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Tiger Tiger Woods Y'all

TIGER LOVES DUBAI! Check it out- he's got his own FakeTown underway. We think it is in between the Halliburton Manse and Bubbles Jackson's Chimp-o-tainment Center!

Tiger with some Swedish lady

The tragic grace note of this otherwise TITILATING piece of gossip is that Tiger coulda been chillin' on Birth Control Island with Anna Nicole, Dear Sweet Angel, had she not been drugged into terminal nap time by Howard K. Stern. (Tip comes to you courtesy of our Minnesota-based sporting correspondent, Dave.)

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Saturday, April 21, 2007

April 20th = HYPEPIPE!


On behalf of all of the Vegan Vampires, Drugged Out Pumpkins, and Labia Like Chairs in the Piedmont I would like to thank the Marijuana Wolf and parateners in crime Health and Saurus for throwing the most Luxurious Aril 20th jam this side of Dubai!

In the coming days, we will post the audio from that very special evening so that all of you can indulge in the fantasy and frenzy experienced on Friday night at Two Art Chicks.
In the meantime, enjoy this KICK-ASS clip of Madonna performing Justify My Love during her Girlie Show Tour (Watch her turn against her lace at the end!). Because it is Awesome and you deserve something AWESOME to watch while you wait for something awesomER to arrive!


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Friday, April 13, 2007

Of Meatwads and Milkshakes

We're pretty sure the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie opens this weekend. We think. Maybe tonight? We think we've seen pop up ads on Myspace... Um, soooo, yeah it's this weekend. (God, we're so strung out on Bjork mp3s and 30 Rock and fucking cold ass weather!) Click here for listings. Sparks and a straw make a great movie date!

We're probably gonna plan to go, not go, and then rent the DVD. Besides, for some reason, all the movie theaters in Greensboro smell like nasty unwashed carpet and cafeteria spaghetti (yeah, that kind of carpet). With the possible exception of the Friendly Center theater with the big echo chamber. And that's cause it was just bought up by some investors from DUBAI!

What do you think Greensboro's movie theaters smell like?

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Sunday, April 8, 2007

Haute Like Fire

Congratulations Dubai for making the cover of Haute Living, our favorite magazine only after Yachting.

Dubai's so haute, we can't stand it.

We told you Michael and Bubbles were headed there, Halliburton has already made the move, and Anna Nicole herself would have been chillin on Jumeirah Beach right now if it weren't for Howard K. Stern and those damn 600 pills.

Dubai's even building the world's first underwater hotel. Like in 7th grade when you had to design a fantasy country for social studies, and someone always did "AquaLand," a magical world at the bottom of the ocean under a big glass dome. In Dubai, THEY'RE DOING IT FOR REALS!

Mark our words, everything important in 2007 is going to take place in Dubai.

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Sunday, April 1, 2007

Team Blue, Where Are You?



Cedric traveled by bus, on foot, by car, train, tram, taxi, and possibly by mule, for this weekend's Jerry Bruckheimer-produced trip to Durham. Even though the most cracked out of cities and the loosest of transportation arrangements are (usually) no match for the wits of our esteemed HypePipe contributor, we are wondering if Cedric is gonna be back for Season 2.

Did he make it out of rock town alive?

Did he get back to Orange County before midnight?

Did he defect to the
United Arab Emirates on the Dubai leg of the race?

Will he make it back to the G-spot before the break of Kinko's Monday morning?


CEDRIC- your readers await word of your return!

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Thursday, March 29, 2007

Breaking News - Michael Jackson is Ill-Nana!


According to our favorite assholes at Fox News fallen pop star and dear friend of Bubbles Michael Jackson was rushed to a Las Vegas Hospital after experiencing pneumonia-like symptoms. MJ is said to be blaming Japan and his children for his illness.


Bubbles could not be reached for comment on
Birth Control Island. However, the aging chimpanzee is said to be looking for the first flight out of Dubai to be with his estranged award show date.


As always, we keep you updated on updates as soon as they are updatable!

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Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Breaking News: Dannie-Lynn -Bubbles-Nicole-Smith???



So it has just come to my attention that our Dear Sweet Angel herself, Anna Nicole Smith, was planning a trip to none other than HypePipe's vacation spot of choice, luxurious Dubai!

Sadly, she died before this plan could be realized. However this made me think, who was she going to see in Dubai? Personally, I think she was on her way to rendezvous with who else but BUBBLES! I think that they were going to meet at a hotel on Birth Control Island (HypePipe's Island of choice) to discuss sharing their love with the whole wide world. Doing so would finally put to rest the speculation over Dannie Lynn’s paternity BECAUSE BUBBLES IS THE REAL FATHER!!!

Chew on that shit foaminit!

-Holla

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Monday, March 26, 2007

A Few Questions for the Muffin Man

Who are you Otis Spunkmeyer?

And are you aware that your muffins taste like nasty? And does the LaQuinta Inn West Little Rock think that I am going to want to stay there for their continental breakfast, featuring your Otis Spunkmeyer pastries? And will Michael Jackson be able to purchase your muffins in Dubai, when Blanket is hungry and needs a muffin?

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